WHAT IF I DECIDED THAT MY LIFE IS MY FRIEND?

Originally published 9/09

As I watch people struggle in their lives (and because it is not my life I often have more perspective then they do), I sometimes see what they need to let go of. Maybe they are getting sick because it is the only way they can begin to relate to their body with real love. Maybe they have put something external ahead of their integrity or health. Whatever the case, they have had to live through various difficult events, which through their suffering eventually caused them to see how they were trading some valuable part of themselves in for something external and therefore not authentic.

Recently I found myself feeling overwhelmed. I was in the middle of juggling some big changes in my life, and had lost my perspective. I found myself trying to push through the current and challenging chapter of my life, so I could move into what was next, which in my imagination, could only be better. My pushing was a form of control. I was trying to make my life something it wasn’t, instead of recognizing and being in what it actually was. As I came to realize that I had little control over the events that were occurring around me, I knew I was stuck. Although I was aware of the feelings being triggered and how they related to my past, I was unable to find another way to see things and move into a more empowered position on my own. I took the issue to my therapist and got the help I needed. She gave me a different way of looking at what was occurring, and helped me see what I was trying to learn, what my life was trying to teach me. Because of this, I became able to make different choices in how I perceived what was happening and in how I was relating to the events in my life. I saw how I needed to let go of the external as a way of evaluating myself, and focus on my internal worth. I started to let go of the struggle that I was in.

I began to say to myself:

Although I do not feel safe and am uncomfortable, I am safe.

I am trying to control the uncontrollable. I refuse to do that and ruin my day.

How I use my energy in this moment is more important than where I think I am headed.

I will not misuse my energy (get tense, hopeless etc) because it will only perpetuate that.

I choose joy, grace and dignity, because I can.

I will not allow external circumstances to dictate my mood or how I use my energy.

I was shifting. Plenty of things were still not going the way I wanted them to, but I was no longer allowing that to derail me. Instead, I was feeling better, more empowered, more accepting of the imperfection that life is.

As I engaged in this process of transforming myself, I began to ask, “What about me”? “What is life whispering in my ear?” “What is my life trying to teach me?” I started to see how important it is for me to trust my life. I get to choose the lens I look through. What if I decided that my life is my friend? What if I choose to see that absolutely everything that occurs in my life is purposeful and designed to help me evolve? I knew that only way I could become who I most want to be: joyous, grateful, trusting, was by deciding that absolutely everything that is happening to me, everything in my life, is in support of my growth.

Because I want to trust my life, I choose to. Not once, but over and over as challenges arise and throw me into doubt for a moment or an hour or a day. I tell myself: I trust my life. My life is my friend. The events in my life are occurring to assist me in my growth and evolution. I seek out ways to see what it is that my life is trying to tell me, so that I can cooperate with it, rather than fight against it.

Copyright 2009 Jennifer Lehr Originally published at http://www.jenniferlehrmft.com/what-if-i-decided-that-my-life-was-my-friend/